Hello Humans,
Have you really
thought of what makes someone your friend?
Everyone has
different definitions, expectations and contributions to their friends and
friendships.
Friend becomes
acquaintance and acquaintance becoming friend. People come and go in your life.
They may have left deep footsteps in certain part(s) of your life, they may not
have. But they may also leave (left) at certain phase of your life. Not to deny
that each of them played a major impact and forged great friendship, at least
at that particular stage. Thank you friends, friends in the past, present and
future, for building fond memories with me and treasuring(ed) our friendships.
Not to worry, I am not
emo-ing. The topic on friendships is common. And somehow there were
conversations on friendship with my friends. It reminds me of how I've missed
some (used-to-be) important people in my life.
*a super long post ahead*
I remember my lower
primary school BFF- NHS and LPY calling ourselves weird names like
Bunny and Tweety. We sneakily ate that 10cents sweet in class, pretending that
the teacher didn’t notice us. I remember talking with you in class, but yet I
was the only one the received the punishment. I don’t really blame you, I blame
that teacher. If not it would be great to get punished together. Oh ya, and my
first friend in JPS-NHW, the fat
little boy who adores Fann Wong and Sailor Moon. You were my first best friend.
It saddens me a little that we are strangers. I know we've tried to stay close
but things just get awkward as time passes. I do remember you whenever I flip
through my sticker book during tidying/cleaning. Haha. Not forgetting another
lower primary school BFF-ACK. I
still find it weird for us to be BFF given my super Chinese background and your
super English background. I wonder how things worked out for us. It was always a
pleasure to visit your house, to play with you and your little sister (who is
forever 3 years old in my memory), eating your mum's maggie, jumping on your
bed, dirtying your carpet with my ice-cream, celebrating your birthday and of
course visiting zoo with your family. I felt so welcomed, by you and your
family. It was genuinely a true friendship, and I thank you for all your love
as a friend.
People move on and
BFF changed over time, given all the streaming and all. I’ve no idea when I
start speaking more English. Perhaps it was my primary 5 BFF Nurul that forced me to speak more
English since that was our common language. Upper Primary school life was
great, having ELYL, TYX, CLYR, TLBE and TSH as my favourite people. I truly
enjoy all those moments- skipping meals during recess for games like catching,
playing no-rule basketball and badminton, nuahing at all your homes and eating
all the yummies, or heading to the library to “chat” instead of doing of
homework. Oh yes, of course being similar at height brought us together too. No
doubt we drifted as we grow, it's a huge pity.
Guilty am I,
sometimes I forgot a good friend of mine from sec 1 to 4. Well, she's very
soft-spoken but a considerate being. We got lost of touch despite being in the
same JC. Yes you, LSC. Sometimes I’m
still reminded of you, for instance looking at books by Agatha Christine. And
yeah, probably another person to bring up is DKSZ, a "neighbour" of mine staying in the same area. We
started to know each other when I make delivery for her homework cos she was on
MC. From that period on, we had been SMS buddy for at least 8 years. We weren't
particular close but we always SMS each other on random things until University
year 3. It's really a pity for us, to drift despite living so close. There were
occasions that I was thinking if this SMS friendship works, it didn’t last but
it certainly helped me get through some ups and downs. You had been a great SMS
buddy, really.
As I'm getting more
anti-social as I age (okay I shouldn't make myself sound old), my social circle
gets smaller. Personally I don't think I've made many friends in JC. But thank
you people like MC and AL for all the fun moments in school. M
only stayed with us for the first year but it was a great year. Coming from the
same Secondary School, with seemingly quite different background, it was quite
amazing how we could somehow clicked and had all those stupid lame moments
together. As for AL, who got MIA, I can’t remember much stuff between us but I
hope you’re doing fine. Some other random people include JW and JY- sometimes I
also can’t recall much shared memories beside talking on our way back. It seems
like I have poor memory, I do not deny of that. Not forgetting the fun moments
we (some Hillgrovians) during the
first three months, playing dai di and mahjong. Despite not being close from
the start till the end, those memories still print in my heart. And thanks CWF and C for those wonderful memories in China! It was definitely fun
sharing room with you girls and doing stupid things together. At least we were
close during that travel period as getting drifted when we were back was kind
of expected.
Like I’ve said, I
get more anti-social as I age, so I don't really bother much with socializing
in University. I’ll never forget my first friend in NTU, a girl who was sitting
alone in the tutorial room and I went to talk to her. She, my first friend from
NTU, is VC. As a friend and course mate,
she was always truthful and helpful. There were so many times when I was stuck
at choosing essay questions or running out of ideas to crap, she was always
there to help, offering me ideas. Having her own attitude can be sometimes
quite intimidating for her friends. We are quite different, in the sense that
sometimes we just couldn’t communicate. We’ll just sit side by side on the bust
and remind quiet. She’s honest. Let alone her dressing sense, she can tell
me/us straight into the face that probably we wouldn’t be contacting in the
future cos it was quite natural for us to be together since we are in the same
course. It’s like friend of benefits. You’re right val. I can’t really recall
when we started to drift but thank you for playing such a major role in my life
in NTU, especially in the first year.
Friends we were,
strangers we are.
School indeed was
like a place where I make friends. I don’t really have much life outside
school. Yeah, I love school. Of course like I’ve said, friends of course can
remain as friends. I’m not a sadist with all my friends disappearing from my
life and keep making new friend. That would be too tiring. Hence despite for
once or twice that I thought maybe I should be less anti-social and have more
friends, I’d rather spend the effort on maintaining friendship than creating
new friendship.
(Okay I still do
think maybe sometime I should step out of my comfort zone and say hello
stranger. LOL)
Somehow things got
more stable in Secondary school. One of the best choice I've made is getting
into Hillgrove, joining SJAB and meeting my BFFs (aka laopos)-LZY, BHL and KXQ. I'm glad
that and thankful that our friendships are still going strong despite entering
different stages of life. Let's make it work and stay by each other's side to
deal with future’s ups and downs! You girls are certainly at the top of my
friend list, despite me joking at times that I’ve to re-rank your ranking. I’m
not sure how our friendships will turn out be in the future, but let’s hope we’ll
get to each other’s phase of getting into relationship, striving for career, building
a family, having kids and of course in short, growing old.
Another clique of
BFF I got to know in my life is also from Hillgrove. It is also where I got to
know PKLP, LYT, SCS in upper
Secondary. Come to think about it I wasn't really that close to PKLP or SCS in
Secondary school. I think we got closer only in JC. PKLP was just my partner (index
partner for queuing for morning assembly and maybe for labs experiments) and sometimes
we’d fool around while walking up the stairs to our class. We only got to know
each other better in JC, thank god you were in the same class (and OG) with me.
I hope I didn’t stick too much to you, but I think I did. Your presence in my
life was great. You’re a great friend, for being so real and truthful. My first
interaction with SCS wasn’t a good one. I believe he was the one who dropped my
bag in canteen and I flared at him (I wasn’t that good temper in the past,
HAHA). I’m not quite sure if that scare you or if you remember it. You’re the
next better guy friend of mine (aside NHW as my first guy BFF in JPS) though we
don’t really talk a lot but since in the first place I don’t have many friends,
let alone guy friend, yes you are one. I’ll also never forget my first
impression of LYT- the fierce and unfriendly girl who closed the bad door when
we were trying to peek into your classroom when you all were doing foot drill.
To my surprise, you’re such a sweet friend! Thanks for being so patient, so
caring, so helpful and I truly enjoyed all our study sessions in schools and of
course visiting your house! Despite having lesser meet ups and contact with
these BFFs, I hope we wouldn’t get drifted and I believe our friendships will
last cos we’ll be each other side in times of need.
Okay, this is
getting really long. But please pardon me for a little while more. I’ll just do
with 2 more people! YYQ is the only
friend that I’ve really made in JJC I guess. I mean the one that has been there
since JC and is still there. I remember you being my biology partner, being my
PW group mate and all. Thanks for all your encouragement, your sharing and
treating me as a friend who you can share your issues. Thanks for seeing me as
someone whom you can confide. Let’s make this friendship work okay! And I still
look forward to our one-fine-day successful Botanical Garden trip!
Last person, NPM! Thank you entering my life in NTU.
I can’t imagine completing the course without you! Though we are quite
different in some sense, thanks for being such an honest and truthful friend,
like clearing things up instead of keeping to yourself (it’s really a bit
different style for us). I know everyone is flawed; me and you are not spared.
It’s quite amazing that I’ve some sort of transformed you to slightly more open
to Chinese language, haha. Yes, maybe we should go sing K sometime soon.
Thanks friends for
trusting me, believing me, confiding to me and of course treating me as your
friend. I don’t really confide to people but I guess I prefer to keep it to my
own. People works differently, don’t they? I hope I did perform my role as a friend and have/had somehow impacted your life in one way or another.
This post really
summarizes all my used-to-be close friends and those who are still close to me.
There’s too much effort required from both parties to make things work. But as
time passes, things may just get too awkward for people to work it out. So I
guess the best of all is to be appreciative and be grateful of what you had and
have, because some stay, some leave. It's the truth, I'm not sure whether or not to use the words "sad truth". But that's how life works...
And to end off, I
hope new friendship do lasts too. There are still plenty of chances to make new
friends given the age of 23 years old (even though I seldom make friends with random people). But of course, there are different types
of friendships and hence hopefully those that can hit off will remain. (:
Lots of loves,
Bean
P.S. I didn’t
expect this post to be so wordy. It’s like an essay with 2000 words! If only
writing an essay is as easy as that… Oh well, I’m super naggy and I wonder who
actually read the entire entry. If you really do, thank you friend. And please pardon the poor command of English. You should have known that the English standard of your friend here (me) isn't that good. HAHA.
